Posts Tagged dog

Are you SURE your dog is home alone?

If someone were to accuse a pet of being a hacker, one might assume they were talking about:

  1. a cat with a hairball,
  2. a dog with a tendency to swallow first and think later, or
  3. a parrot owned by someone with hay fever.

However, there’s another type of hacker that’s far more serious. That is a pet who is smart enough to know where the credit cards are buried. This undercover “Dog Goes Shopping” video catches a particularly clever pup/hacker in the act.

Paying for contraband dog toys, snacks and more is easy enough for pets with unsuspecting owners. Some pets shop at home. Others go to trendy, pet-friendly coffeeshops. Still others go straight to the store to fetch some treats.

Although security experts advise against it, many people still use a pet’s name as all or part of their passwords.  So it’s not rocket science for a smarter-than-average pet to crack a PIN, master a keyboard and learn to type, for example, “beef jerky.” Others just nab the credit card, hit the doggie-door, scale the fence (or tunnel out) and return before their humans can say, “Who ordered 3 chew toys, 2 boxes of rawhide, 4 cat videos and 8 packages of bacon?”

Jasmine and Spunky have not (to anyone’s knowledge) gone on a shopping spree with their owners’ credit cards. However, pet owners everywhere may want to check the security camera at their local pet store. They might recognize some especially familiar patrons.

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Jazz & Spunky’s Birthday Party Plans

A-List Guests Enjoy the Buffet

While the humans were away, Spunky and Jazz dreamed up their own birthday party. Neither knows the actual dates of their birthdays, so they agreed to share a day and invite their favorite four-legged friends.

So far, this party only exists in the minds of the dogs. But one day, when they’re home alone, they’re really going to throw the ultimate canine cabal.

This is how they imagine it will be. But they’re still working (like dogs) on it.

Here’s what they have so far:

Shopping List

Candles (for chewing, not lighting)
Cake (at dog’s-eye level, not too high, e.g. countertop = too high)
Frosty Paws frozen treats (no need to worry about melting – we’ll consume them all before that’s even a remote possibility)
Doggie biscuits
Gravy (jars will do – real dogs don’t cook and frankly we’re not all that discriminating) Read the rest of this entry »

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Mornings at Jazz & Spunky’s House

Spunky o-u-t-s-i-d-e

“Good morning!” – Spunky

It happens every day.

“Dad” wakes up first. Very early. When it’s still dark. The dogs know that he’s typically the first one up. They’re usually waiting for him. At the top of the stairs. Because they know that – before he wakes up Mr. Coffee who then helps wake him up – he’ll walk to the top of the stairway that leads to the lower level, which leads to the rec room, which leads to the sliding glass door, which leads to The Great Outdoors. Read the rest of this entry »

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A Dog’s New Year’s Resolutions – by Jasmine

These practical resolutions – ghost-written by a spoiled Sheltie several years ago – are worth revisiting this new year …

I’ve noticed that humans like to look back on the past year and look forward to the year ahead. People think dogs are all about the present. But humans don’t have a corner on goal-setting. Here, for example, are my goals for the new year:

Refine begging skills. Sad eyes. Droopy ears. Heavy tail. Remember the time Spunky ate my favorite chew toy. Method acting at its best. I really miss that toy.

Convince my owners that choking is overrated. Yes, I know the bones are small. Just hand over the turkey carcass and nobody gets hurt.

“Roll-over” is for Pillsbury, not pups. I want that apple-stuffed, cinnamon-frosted turnover and I want it NOW. No tricks, just treats. Read the rest of this entry »

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The (Twenty)-Four* Major Food Groups

luckydog_hotdog_vendor500… According to Jasmine and Spunky

Humans have a food pyramid, a balanced diet (in theory at least) and the four major food groups. Dogs, however, have a far less discriminating palate. Here are more than a few of Spunky and Jasmine’s favorite food groups:

1. Leftovers… including the food plus any paper or cardboard packaging.

2. Unattended Food… (See Pepperoni Pups.)

3. Attended Food… If your reaction time is slow.

4. Food in Doggie Bags… technically, this counts as “leftovers,” but it is also considered an entitlement by some dogs (who may or may not be able to read) … who consider it exploitative if the “doggie” bag is not shared with … the doggies. Read the rest of this entry »

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I hate mailmen … by Jasmine

“I like to fetch the mail … and the mailman.”– Jasmine

I hate mailmen.

A lot.

I don’t know why. It’s been like this ever since I was a puppy. One postal carrier in particular really gets on my nerves. (Which doesn’t take much.) I mean, he comes by the house almost EVERY DAY.

I have to chase him away.

Sometimes I sit on top of the couch by the window so I can watch for him. As soon as I see him I begin growling and I pound on the window. (It has the paw marks to prove it.) Read the rest of this entry »

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Pup-tastrophes – Spunky

yellow post-it notes on blue

Perilous Post-its (from a Puppy’s Perspective)

On one puppy-sitting occasion, I went downstairs, accustomed to having Spunky close behind, shadowing me.

Not this time.

I heard his whimper from a distance, only to realize that he had not yet mastered the concept of  “stairs.” He was parked, anxiously, at the top of the stairway. I carried him down, deciding that he would decipher the whole stair-descending concept soon enough.

He happily set about exploring the lower level of his new home. It wasn’t long before I heard a persistent, loud and distressed whimpering noise coming from another room. I followed the sound only to find the little Sheltie pup traumatized by his inability to shake a large yellow Post-it note from his paw. Read the rest of this entry »

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