A Dog-Gone Tough Vocabulary Test

use_your_brain500hcrWhew! Obedience School is getting tougher.

Rumor has it that the really smart dogs attending a really smart school with a really tough instructor may have to take (or have their masters take) a vocabulary test.

Some dogs, by practicing Dictionary.com’s Vocabulary Flash Cards, have allegedly learned to see, say and s-p-e-l-l, some pretty impressive new words.

Spunky and Jasmine are smart dogs who occasionally have to “stay” after Obedience School. They have become quite the little bloggers … and linguistic experts. After years of studying Dictionary.com’s “Remarkable Verbs” flashcards online (yes, these dogs can surf, too), they have learned to “speak” and “s-p-e-l-l” them.

Here’s what transpired:

USING DICTIONARY.COM’S “10 REMARKABLE VERBS” IN AN ESSAY
by Jasmine, who tried claiming that “the dog (Spunky) ate her homework.”

The Obedience School moderator didn’t buy Jasmine’s excuse. Here – better late than never – is the result of her assignment to use ALL 10 VERBS in an essay:

It was a leisurely Sunday afternoon and Spunky was yaffing at the squirrel next door until the squirrel absquatulated while my owners kibitzed about what to do with the afternoon. Spunky wandered off to chase some noisy geese. He eventually returned to an abandoned rawhide bone, which he proceeded to fletcherise until it resembled a tiny piece of over-worked chewing gum.

Meanwhile, our humans set about subtilizing their rather hastily developed rationale for hornswoggling the pups out of the day’s plans. The humans wanted to lollygag a bit longer in the park with an impromptu and kibble-free picnic.

Well, Spunky barked a few choice but unprintable words for this option, which I have had to bowdlerize from this entry. Those words were nothing he learned at Obedience School. I suspect he picked them up from that bully bulldog, Butch, three doors down. Butch, the opportunist, is still doing hard time for peculating packages (including a holiday ham) from an unattended UPS truck.

Fortunately, our sad-eyes, head-and-tails-down trick worked its magic and won the day. Clearer heads prevailed. Our humans decided to take us to the park with them. When we heard the verdict, we took one look at each other and the open front door and skedaddled before they had a chance to reconsider.

It was a dog-gone, g-o-o-d d-o-g, obedience-school-free Sunday.

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