Pepperoni Pups


Dog food … in the presence of distracted humans.

Spunky and Jazz (aka Hoover and Electrolux) shed light on table etiquette … from a dog’s perspective. It can pretty much be summed up like this:

  1. Finders keepers.
  2. I’m fast. Don’t even think about trying to beat me to the target.
  3. I can swallow the food in question a WHOLE faster than you can gasp, furrow your brow and say, “no!” or “bad dog!”

If food of any sort – human or canine, packaged or unpackaged, cooked or raw, leftover or fresh – drops on the floor, falls in your lap or is left unattended on a table … it belongs to the dogs. For the Ages.

You and/or your food are – metaphorically speaking – toast.

Even if it’s tightly wrapped in foil, do not even try to beat the dogs to the food. You’ll lose. They’re faster than you. And smart. If they’re Shelties, they’ll distract you with their sheer cuteness. But their nose can detect edibles … their teeth can puncture packaging … their drool can render it forever marked as “Mine! Mine! Mine! … faster than you can say, “I wasn’t so hungry for (whatever it was) after all.”

Unattended pizza is especially vulnerable.

Case in point: Spunky. His pawns, err, I mean, masters, were busy lining up things like plates, napkins and tall, ice-filled glasses of Pepsi while, unbeknownst to them, Spunky was making an impromptu “fast-food” dinner out of approximately half of the pepperonis on their pizza.

(Helpful hint:  A hungry pup can make short work of cardboard pizza box lids.)

Scary thing is, it was not immediately obvious that there was anything inherently wrong with the pizza.  Fortunately, an astute observer questioned whether they had ordered a half-pepperoni vs. an all-pepperoni pizza. They had not and so quickly deduced – without even checking the dogs for pepperoni breath – the fate of the missing pepperonis and, by default, the entire pizza. (No one knew or even wanted to speculate as to the fate of the tomato sauce and one or two pepperonis on the other side.)

Fortunately, there were bread sticks and more (apparently) unspoiled pizza in another box. No humans went hungry and no dogs fell ill, although some very thirsty pups did lap up A LOT of water.

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